Big Truck Energy

All I want is to manspread on the highways

Nov 02, 2024

∙ Paid

Since moving to LA, and specifically my neighborhood in Tujunga, I have become hyper-aware of the plethora of lethally-sized trucks driving down the main thoroughfare that takes drivers from the bougie La Crescenta into the Valley. The drivers are what you’d expect: men who work blue-collar jobs and need the horsepower for their jobs and men who like big trucks but have no technical use for them.

I have spent many a moment on LA’s highways shaking my fists at them and the way they command the road with their wide-set monster tires, ready to make paté out of compact cars like mine.

A man-spreading truck from the IG Big Ass MF Truck

Last week, in a moment filled with cognitive dissonance, I decided that I too might want to drive a big old truck. The bigger the better. I really want to manspread my way across traffic, I decided, but in a vehicle that has a design that doesn’t rub my MFA the wrong way.

The first car company that came to mind was Rivian, an all-electric car brand that has two big ass vehicles: an SUV and a truck with a flatbed. The SUV has a whopping three rows of seats, (which would be perfect for my job as an UberX driver that I will need to take to pay for the car).

I had recently heard a comedian do stand-up about the average Rivian driver: an Erewhon-shopping woman from Topanga Canyon who is so strung out on beta-blockers that she crashes her car every other month while listening to Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. This vaguely misogynistic criticism of both this LA archetype and one of my favorite songs, Rhiannon, pushed me over the edge and I decided to book a test drive.

rivianofficial

A post shared by @rivianofficial

^ A Rivian x Knight Rider collab ^

Last year around this same time, I decided in a frenzy of manifesting energy, that I would test drive a Tesla. I tried a Model 3 that I did not enjoy driving more than my 2007 Camry because the cabin was too small, and the vibe was too sports car for me. Not to mention the horror of giving any money to Elon at this point.

At Tesla I was met by a gaggle of very heterosexual men in polo shirts. In contrast, when I arrived at Rivian I was delighted and surprised to find some very butch-looking ladies manning the store. The inside of the SUV exceeded my expectations in terms of creature comforts. Some of my favorite features were a tintable see-through roof, and a wireless charging station for my phone, meaning I would never again be caught with 1% while navigating to a random gallery in Downtown LA after dark.

Driving the Rivian SUV around with the store attendant was fine. At Tesla they let me do a test drive by myself, and even keep it overnight - just sayin’. When I was done, uninspired by my test drive, I started to explore the Rivian truck, unromantically named R1T. That's when my imagination really began to spark.

It was like something in me was transported to another timeline where my true inner-dude started to come out. I imagined putting all my studio tools, canvases, and even camping gear, which I don’t own, in the flatbed. I imagined taking the truck with my new-timeline girlfriend to a remote campsite where we would build a fire and do camping stuff - again something I have only done a couple times in my 40+ years. Who even am I, I wondered. Would I go fishing? I suddenly got the appeal of this big ass truck.

After I left the dealership, I thought about what had happened looking at the truck. While I believe we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, there was something in me that really came alive imagining myself driving a big, all-terrain vehicle with an 84” extension flatbed, and a secret mudroom compartment.

I used to think that as long as my internal sense of self was aligned, how I transformed outwardly wasn’t as important, especially if I was trying to move away from m y people-pleasing tendancies. But this experience underlined for me the importance of an external transformation, as well as an internal one. There is something about creating the right physical context to exist in- whatever your gender identity- to truly activate a feeling of authentic self-hood.

RuPaul has often spoken on his show about when he first started doing drag, he felt this incredible power that he did not feel in his normal life. His therapist said that his drag power was available outside of drag as well, he just had to tap into it. But I would argue that RuPaul has become himself because of drag, and that it was an important first step to discovering his power in other areas of his life. What would we have done had he not needed drag to feel whole? We would have truly missed out on all the gifts.

For me, I guess this means, fantasizing about driving a big truck around LA. Day-to-day it also means wearing my hair short and, right now, dressing like a Backstreet Boy circa 1998.

I don’t think we totally have to understand why we are drawn to certain clothes, music or life experiences, but we do need to acknowledge when we are called to something - no matter how silly or surprising it is.

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