It’s a privilege to be trans

And to be alive at this moment in history when we can really make a difference

A couple nights ago I met with a transmasc group through the Trans Resource Group of New Mexico over Zoom. The mood was darker than somber when we all first logged on. I was regretting my choice of attending when a PowerPoint slide popped up that asked us to name a rose, a thorn, and a bud. This is an exercise I have done before with my accountability group, back when we were relatively plucky-eyed and optimistic about the future in January 2020. While I am a fan of gratitude and staying present for the minutiae of our lives, hello Substack, life has been changing so fast these days it has been hard to get attached enough to call something a rose. And well with these times, it’s tough to limit the number of obnoxious and horrifying things happening to a single thorn.

Make thorns great again

Then the first person spoke and announced that he was fresh out of roses. I would have laughed had I been in a better mood. When I heard that sentiment echoed by all the people in the group, well what’s that they say about misery loves company? It did and I did. Had one person been super exuberant about life during this first five minutes, I would have been pissed and logged off. But the shared sentiment of ‘over it’ made me feel seen.

Kind of like doing morning pages, sometimes you need to get the gunk out early on to make room for fresh insights. By the end of the call I was telling everyone how inspired I was by them and feeling grateful to be there. Most of the men in the group have been trans for much longer than me, and have gone through the ringer with name and gender-change paperwork. They have had to figure out how to travel with temperature-sensitive meds, and have even experienced getting patted down by the TSA because their genitals didn’t match their perceived gender. Yes,apparently that is a thing. If you learn something new every day, that would have to be it for me.

A quick primer for those who haven’t seen this in the news over the past 7-8 or years, like myself: as it turns out, the TSA, in addition to scanning your stuff and your body for guns or other weapons, as we all assumed they were doing, they have been also scanning your junk down there to make sure it matches your perceived gender. Your perceived gender is determined by someone adjacent to the scanning machine who has been hitting a button that says male or female, all this time. Like, what?? And why?

When trans people make up at most 1% of the population, I am so curious why this exists. Is their scanning equipment sophisticated enough to detect a ball sack on a trans woman, but not sophisticated enough to tell whether it is a gun or a ball sack? Seems like a pretty straight-forward assignment to me.

And let’s say, for the sake of figuring out their bizarre reasoning, we argue that cis women are smuggling drugs in their crotches then dressing like men to hide them in their packers? In case the lawmakers forgot, or weren’t aware (I wouldn’t be surprised), cis women have something called a uterus that can expand like an inflatable cave and can contain all sorts of things, including a 12 pound baby. So yeah, if people really want to hide things in their nethers, a scanner and pat down will not be enough. This is not an invitation to start doing rectal and gynocological exams, however.

As we went through this two-hour group chat about all the ins and outs of traveling as trans, I marveled at what all these people have gone through in a short number of years. And now with new executive orders, things are only getting tougher for people to try and follow the logic, given that many of the documents that were previously issued are technically null at a federal level, but reaffirmed at the state level. I got an A in AP Government and was a precocious teen in Youth-in-Government, but I am still confused by how to cross state lines as a trans person.

And even when you follow the law, there’s no guarantee you will make it through the subjective examinations performed by federal agents. Documents like legally issued passports are getting snatched at the airport because they have a gender change, or use an outdated gender that is no longer recognized like X, or don’t reflect the current perceived gender of the person. Plain-clothes officers are putting hoods over people’s heads, mostly immigrants, and carting them off without reading them their Miranda Rights or giving them due process.

We of good conscience are overwhelmed, and for valid reasons. But something has been simmering in my heart since I came out as trans, and have started to understand what it really means to be at the forefront of a civil rights movement. As we have made the slow arc of progress, leading hopefully towards justice, trans rights activism is a relative newcomer, especially in America- although trans people have been around forever. To be able to say that you were among the first people to be part of a movement like this is not only rare, it’s a privilege. One that comes with great responsibility and much to gain if we succeed.

Yes, it’s scary. There are no rules on how to do it right, and also the rules keep changing. There are some, but few examples of people to look to who have successfully and powerfully gone before within the trans community to try and affect change. There have been fewer who actually have, especially since this affront is so new. Being regularly in the public eye as a political activist is hard, complicated and requires a really tough skin to weather the 24-hour news cycle, so there are even fewer trans folks willing or able to be public-facing.

I personally feel grateful to be part of this moment in history, and to have had all the privileges I have had up until now to know very clearly when something is being taken away. And I feel inspired that all of us, allies and ambivalents included, can have an outsized impact on what happens next - even if it’s hard and takes a long time.

Yes, I’m grumpy because I’m tired and people keep referring to me as a woman even after I tell them I’m non-binary. I’m sick of constantly being called ma’am by well-meaning customer service people, even after I tell them my pronouns. The whole thing is confusing and tiring. And as I’m learning, that’s the least of it. I’m sure there will come a time that I will laugh at such small problems - like when I try to get on a plane.

As long as we are in human bodies with different colored skin, and different genders rather than gray alien skin (because some people think that the gray aliens with their big eyes are actually us from the future) then my guess is there will always be people who are scapegoated for being different and put in a box labeled wrong.

Right now, trans folks, along with immigrants and immigrant-looking people, are getting a disproportionate amount of attention in the news, and are being treated as public enemies 1 and 2 by the Tr*mp administration, despite making up a small fraction of the general population and an even smaller fraction of ‘the problem,’ if there is such a thing aside from Mr. Felon-in-Chief himself.

This means there is now increased danger for anyone in these targeted communities, but also that there is a bigger platform for these issues as we try to effect change. People have the power, but we have to believe it we do first.

I invite you to see this as an opportunity to be part of a era that will do some majorly exciting things for human rights here in America, and maybe across the world, rather than getting bogged down by the garbage of a 24-hour news cycle. Use your voice when you can. If you don’t understand how the electoral college or a two-party system works, please consider it your duty to learn it so when it comes time to vote again you are well-armed with a plan to be as effective as possible. If you don’t like our current elector system, see it as your mission to change it - but don’t throw your vote and your voice away come November.

If you want to donate money to trans folks, and also want a chic t-shirt, check out this “Protect the dolls” t-shirt by Conner Ives expressing support for trans women (dolls). All money goes to Trans Lifeline, a trans-led hotline for trans and gender-questioning people in need.