Cultivating a sense of freedom through art & travel
The Side Woo with Artist and The Space Program Co-Founder Jud Bergeron
A couple weeks ago I did an interview with artist, co-founder of The Space Program residency, avid Dead Head, and fellow French Canadian-descendent, Jud Bergeron. Jud works primarily in bronze, but seems to be a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to sculpture.
Our conversation was similarly dynamic. You never really know where an interview will take you, but Jud’s really kept me guessing. We talked about the countless concerts Jud went to following the Dead on tour, his experience with psychedelics, getting sober, and what it’s like running a residency - among other things.
One of the throughlines that came up for me as I was trying to synthesize our conversation is how it touched on the highest highs and lowest lows of experiencing personal freedom as a human. Jud began traveling to Dead shows with his teenage brother and experimenting with psychedelics in his early teens. Between the mind-expanding drugs and traveling without parents to see a rock band as a minor, I can’t imagine anything more free than that.
“To be on the road by yourself as a teenager, only with other teenagers, everybody had each other's back. There were no cell phones, so you just had an atlas. And just like, ‘alright, I'll see you at the next spot.’ You know, and you'd see people along the road and at gas stations, and everybody was sort of doing the same thing.
Not to mention that the music and the experience of the actual show is just a hundred percent joy, you know? It's not like a normal concert. It really is one of the most joyful things you'll ever see. And so that, getting that dopamine hit of joy and freedom was really- I mean, I think it made me who I am today.”
I remember reading and re-reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac (yet another French Canadian) maybe three or four times when I was in high school and college. It was years before I would end up living in Beat Capital USA, aka San Francisco, and even had an apartment in North Beach, which is the epicenter of the Beat movement. This type of freedom, similar to the kind that Jud described, being on the road with friends and like-minded artists called to me. But as a woman, I couldn’t see a path forward. I was more interested in the idea of all-night benders with jazz and bennies than I was in the practice of it. So instead I lived vicariously through these wild stories, trying to conjure up my own version.
During my study abroad semester, I traveled solo for a week or two in Europe between visits with friends. Similar to Cheryl Strayed at the beginning of her hike, I had a backpack and a massive tote bag filled with art supplies and anxiety, that together weighed almost as much as me. I was terrified of not having everything I needed, of being outside my comfort zone, of the dangers of the world. I traveled from the perilous streets of Paris to harrowing destinations in northern Italy like Venice, Padua, and Verona. I was a sponge, taking it all in, eyes wide not wanting to miss anything.
I got lost on my way to Venice. I had accidentally booked a shed at a campground outside the city in Mestre for $10/night. In my defense, there was barely any internet to help you look these things up in 2002. I anxiously awaited my train stop to this random destination and ended up getting off 10-20 minutes too early in another small town. It was of course pouring rain, and as I walked the streets confused, a young student from Romania took pity on me. The rain had stopped, but I was soaked through. She invited me back to her place to use her hairdryer, then rode with me all the way to Mestre so that I could find the campgrounds. That night I slept with all my clothes on, including my damp 2000s-era cowl-neck sweater and pleather coat, as the winds whipped around the corrugated metal structure.
Luckily I had booked a room in a church hostel for the rest of the trip and was able to stay in Venice for the remainder of the week. I wandered a lot, confused about what it meant to be a solo traveler. Everyone I met was on a mission to see the highlights of as many cities as they could, but I was in heavy Scorpio poet mode. I stayed the whole week and moved slowly through the streets. I saw a giant painting show about the Abstract Expressionists and the New York School that complimented my dreamy obsession with the Beats at the time.
I sat on marble stairs and drew with charcoal on one of the giant drawing pads I brought with me. Tourists took photos of me as I sketched quick studies of the many crows flying around Piazza San Marco. I think I gave a couple of the drawings out for free, but not before fixing them with a giant bottle of aerosol hairspray that I also brought with me.
Since then I have made strides towards living the type of romantic Beat fantasy that seems now, in hindsight, was only really accessible to men, and unwise for most people over the age of 20. But with the internet came the rise of #femalesolotravel, and honestly, I am here for it. Because of my smartphone, I have felt more safe in random destinations than I should have. Something about knowing where you are and that people you know are just a call or a text away is hugely empowering, while not actually going to save you from any real disaster. There is of course a dark side to adventure, or it wouldn’t offer the same payoff.
Ultimately you only have your intuition to guide you, smart phone or no. When I began traveling again almost 20 years after my study abroad experience, I was more confident as a traveler and learned quickly to read a crowd for the energy of potential pickpockets - I can only describe it as speedy. The more harrowing of Jud’s many stories were his run-ins with people who made the hair on the back of his neck stand up - people who he said he knew meant to do him harm. I think these lessons are as much part of freedom as the fun stuff, although I’m not sure to what end.
While not everyone is going to want to travel the world on their own or go to Dead shows, there is freedom to be found in art-making. What I think is so great about The Space Program residency is Jud as the program manager has integrated this sense of freedom, his understanding of what tools it requires as an artist, and has created a space that can offer that to its residents.
Have a listen and let me know what you think.
Check out my bonus episode of The Side Woo - a short Art Tarot Reading for the Full Moon in Aries