Ugh, yes. I was traveling solo this fall and wanted to treat myself to a nice dinner out, which is so rare for me, to celebrate finishing a project. Of course, I was seated at a crappy table in the foyer instead of the plentiful nice tables in the main room of the restaurant. I felt like a second class citizen just because I came in as a single middle aged lady. I left early but was so bummed.
There should really be special discounts for solo people! Doing things solo is so much more expensive because you don't get to share the cost with others. Restaurants and museums need to get wise.
I would've lied and said I was pregnant, point to my empty womb and say, "Bringing my fetus to experience art." Then I'd start singing "We Are Family" just to be obnoxious, like their pricing. xo
No, you responded correctly! I was born with sarcasm as my first language and a terrible chip on my shoulder when it comes to asshattery. Asshaberdashery? Anyway, jerks/injustice/inequality brings that out, and it’s not always pretty. Long story shortened (I can share it when we have coffee), I once ended an “exchange” with, “I’m sorry if I described you accurately!” And I did. LOL. xo
I do see your point about how a family-day discount might appear to exclude singles and/or those who do not have children, and you make sensible, simple suggestions for making "free family day" more inclusive. The Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, for example, is free every day for kids 15 and under, so it's do-able.
But I'm not at all sure that family-day policies are meant to discriminate against or, directly or indirectly, shame anyone who is not part of a family with children. Family Day is undoubtedly an attempt to invite more people - often, I know, first-time visitors - than could otherwise afford to attend, not to push you away. At $42 a head, who can afford to bring a family of four to a museum?
As a 77-year-old single on a fixed income, I find that I am excluded from practically all cultural events - including baseball games, by the way - by the cost of admission/tickets; The Guthrie Theater's Christmas Carol starts at about $100 for a matinee, for instance, and Theater Latte Da is about $60 for its holiday show, depending on day and time. I know that it costs a bundle to run a cultural organization and that support for culture is seriously diminishing across the country - I know it's not about me, although I am affected. Although I am effectively excluded, I don't believe that the high cost of admission is discriminating against me or shaming me (my shame that I can't afford these things is my own!), or that a family-free day is discrimination in disguise.
I have also experienced the bad-table effect and have asked for a better table, which usually works (though I confess to not having tried it in a busy cafe on touristy Santorini). But I'm not feeling personally singled out by this kind of (obnoxious) singles policy or directly shamed. I recognize there's a cultural issue and, in fairness, an economic impact to consider and that it's up to me to defend my own interests - and keep at it to help change people's attitudes. Let's not start on being an older female in our society!
And having once been a "breeder," I find it hard to accept that a family-free day is meant to shame or otherwise hurt people who do not have children. Just bring those kids in and make a much needed attempt to expand their brains, get them out of their bubbles, and offer them an alternative to electronic devices. Because our future depends on getting children educated in as many ways as possible, which includes learning how to behave in a museum and appreciate what it has to offer. Those of us who want a quieter experience can come on most any other day.
Kids are always free at SFMOMA, so the people excluded, as I said, are people who don't have kids. The "shaming" is mostly invisible to those who have not been single most of their lives and is part of a larger single-tax that is leveled on people who don't participate in hetero-normative family values. I don't believe that it is always deliberate but it exists and is embedded in the fabric of most cultures. I don't think that the SFMOMA marketing team did it to make people feel bad, but I think they made a misstep and should correct it.
Ugh, yes. I was traveling solo this fall and wanted to treat myself to a nice dinner out, which is so rare for me, to celebrate finishing a project. Of course, I was seated at a crappy table in the foyer instead of the plentiful nice tables in the main room of the restaurant. I felt like a second class citizen just because I came in as a single middle aged lady. I left early but was so bummed.
There should really be special discounts for solo people! Doing things solo is so much more expensive because you don't get to share the cost with others. Restaurants and museums need to get wise.
agreed! I'm sorry you had that experience but I think it's worth sharing.
I would've lied and said I was pregnant, point to my empty womb and say, "Bringing my fetus to experience art." Then I'd start singing "We Are Family" just to be obnoxious, like their pricing. xo
I love this. There were so many better, more fun ways to respond than the way I did. Dually noted for next time
No, you responded correctly! I was born with sarcasm as my first language and a terrible chip on my shoulder when it comes to asshattery. Asshaberdashery? Anyway, jerks/injustice/inequality brings that out, and it’s not always pretty. Long story shortened (I can share it when we have coffee), I once ended an “exchange” with, “I’m sorry if I described you accurately!” And I did. LOL. xo
lol! Can't wait to hear the context for that
The main thing that I find shocking is the idea of *anyone* paying $42 to visit SFMOMA… wtf?! It was $12 when I worked there! That’s unbelievable.
Me TOO. Like whaaaa
I do see your point about how a family-day discount might appear to exclude singles and/or those who do not have children, and you make sensible, simple suggestions for making "free family day" more inclusive. The Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, for example, is free every day for kids 15 and under, so it's do-able.
But I'm not at all sure that family-day policies are meant to discriminate against or, directly or indirectly, shame anyone who is not part of a family with children. Family Day is undoubtedly an attempt to invite more people - often, I know, first-time visitors - than could otherwise afford to attend, not to push you away. At $42 a head, who can afford to bring a family of four to a museum?
As a 77-year-old single on a fixed income, I find that I am excluded from practically all cultural events - including baseball games, by the way - by the cost of admission/tickets; The Guthrie Theater's Christmas Carol starts at about $100 for a matinee, for instance, and Theater Latte Da is about $60 for its holiday show, depending on day and time. I know that it costs a bundle to run a cultural organization and that support for culture is seriously diminishing across the country - I know it's not about me, although I am affected. Although I am effectively excluded, I don't believe that the high cost of admission is discriminating against me or shaming me (my shame that I can't afford these things is my own!), or that a family-free day is discrimination in disguise.
I have also experienced the bad-table effect and have asked for a better table, which usually works (though I confess to not having tried it in a busy cafe on touristy Santorini). But I'm not feeling personally singled out by this kind of (obnoxious) singles policy or directly shamed. I recognize there's a cultural issue and, in fairness, an economic impact to consider and that it's up to me to defend my own interests - and keep at it to help change people's attitudes. Let's not start on being an older female in our society!
And having once been a "breeder," I find it hard to accept that a family-free day is meant to shame or otherwise hurt people who do not have children. Just bring those kids in and make a much needed attempt to expand their brains, get them out of their bubbles, and offer them an alternative to electronic devices. Because our future depends on getting children educated in as many ways as possible, which includes learning how to behave in a museum and appreciate what it has to offer. Those of us who want a quieter experience can come on most any other day.
Kids are always free at SFMOMA, so the people excluded, as I said, are people who don't have kids. The "shaming" is mostly invisible to those who have not been single most of their lives and is part of a larger single-tax that is leveled on people who don't participate in hetero-normative family values. I don't believe that it is always deliberate but it exists and is embedded in the fabric of most cultures. I don't think that the SFMOMA marketing team did it to make people feel bad, but I think they made a misstep and should correct it.